Funny Quotes | Page 60

Funny Quotes

Lisa Simpson

Rating - 3 (1 Votes)

Oh no, the dead have risen and they're voting Republican.

Janis Joplin

Rating - 3 (1 Votes)

Oh, Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends.

Woody Allen

Rating - 3 (1 Votes)

Oh, now there's only one kind of love that lasts. That's unrequited love. It stays with you forever.

Maurice Chevalier

Rating - 3 (1 Votes)

Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternatives.

Woody Allen

Rating - 3 (1 Votes)

On 77th birthday. On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.

Alex Levine

Rating - 3 (1 Votes)

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.

Groucho Marx

Rating - 3 (1 Votes)

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women.

Homer Simpson

Rating - 3 (1 Votes)

Operator, give me the number for 911!

Hilarious, sad, thoughtful or just plain wrong, funny quotes are an easy way to amuse yourself and express your own thoughts through the words of others. How many times have you heard funny quotes tossed around in casual conversation? It's impossible to stay completely current on all funny quotes, but the major ones are easy enough to find. What better way to show how aware you are of the current culture and celebrity than by tossing a few funny quotes into a conversation with your friends? Having a ready supply of funny quotes can also come in very handy in a dull conversation when you need to take the conversation an entirely new direction. Our collection of funny quotes is comprehensive and fun - enjoy them!