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Funny Quotes

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Rating - 3 (1 Votes)

I may look like I care. Then again, appearances can be deceiving.

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Rating - 3 (1 Votes)

Oh, I offended you with my opinion? You should hear the ones I kept to myself.

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My boyfriend is as real as his birthday, Feburary 30th.

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I’m an airhead and a clutz all rolled up in one, but I’m a lot of fun

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I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.

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Practice safe lunch. Use a condiment!

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Rating - 3 (1 Votes)

Fridge full of food, nothing to eat. Wardrobe full of clothes, nothing to wear. Internet full of sites, nothing to go on.

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Apparently you shouldn’t ever answer a girl’s text message with “k.” Bad idea.

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Edward Koch

In action be primitive; in foresight, a strategist.

Author Unknown

Count your blessings instead of your crosses; Count your gains instead of your losses. ...

Emily Bronte

I lingered around them, under that benign sky; watched the moths fluttering among the heath ...

Ralph Marston

Every positive thing in your life represents a single unique blessing. Every negative thing ...

Federico Garcia Lorca

The two elements the traveler first captures in the big city are extra human architecture ...

John F. Kennedy

It might be said now that I have the best of both worlds: a Harvard ...

Author Unknown

Count your blessings instead of your crosses; Count your gains instead of your losses. ...

Ralph Marston

Every positive thing in your life represents a single unique blessing. Every negative thing ...

Og Mandino

Count your blessings. Once you realize how valuable you are and how much you ...

Michael Jordan

I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 ...

Herman Melville

We may have civilized bodies and yet barbarous souls. We are blind to the real ...

Charles Dickens

Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your ...

Samuel Rutherford

Let your children be as so many flowers, borrowed from God. If the flowers die ...

John Updike

Celebrity is a mask that eats into the face. As soon as one is aware ...

Virginia Woolf

One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.

Flora Edwards

In helping others, we shall help ourselves, for whatever good we give out completes the ...

Curtis Strange

We all choke. You're not human if you haven t.

Sir Richard Steele

I know of no manner of speaking so offensive as that of giving praise, and ...

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Hilarious, sad, thoughtful or just plain wrong, funny quotes are an easy way to amuse yourself and express your own thoughts through the words of others. How many times have you heard funny quotes tossed around in casual conversation? It's impossible to stay completely current on all funny quotes, but the major ones are easy enough to find. What better way to show how aware you are of the current culture and celebrity than by tossing a few funny quotes into a conversation with your friends? Having a ready supply of funny quotes can also come in very handy in a dull conversation when you need to take the conversation an entirely new direction. Our collection of funny quotes is comprehensive and fun - enjoy them!


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