With elections about a month away, what better time to share our favorite quotes about those people many of us love to hate—politicians. These are the people we elect (some would say that’s debatable) to lead our country, but as history has proven time and time again, they often do a horrendous job at it. Maybe George Carlin was right. Maybe these nitwits really are the best we can do.
Check out these 11 funny and insightful quotes on politicians.
1. “Bad politicians are sent to Washington by good people who don’t vote.”–William E. Simon
People like to say that if you don’t vote, you can’t complain about whose in office. Of course, the other side of that is, the person who didn’t vote isn’t the one who put the idiot into office in the first place. He had no part in it.
2. “Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation.”–Henry Kissinger
So 10% of all politicians are actually good? I think that might be a bit too optimistic, Mr. Kissinger.
3. “Politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.”–Charles de Gaulle
I think Michael Scott had it right on The Office when he said if babies were in charge there would be no wars and no taxes.
4. “The reason there are so few female politicians is that it is too much trouble to put makeup on two faces.”–Maureen Murphy
See what she did there?
5. “It is inexcusable for scientists to torture animals; let them make their experiments on journalists and politicians.”–Henrik Ibsen
Now this is an act I can get behind! Unfortunately, I don’t think the politicians would vote it through.
6. “Among politicians the esteem of religion is profitable; the principles of it are troublesome.”–Benjamin Whichcote
Middle America tends to love politicians with religious values. Of course, that religion might get you voted in, but it becomes a liability once the politician is engaging in the typical shady behavior with his Washington cohorts.
7. “What this country needs are more unemployed politicians.”–Edward Langley
Why is it that the people who are screwing up the country always seem to have the highest job security?
8. “Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.”–Nikita Krushchev
A politician will say anything if it can get him elected into office. He counts on the public having a short memory and forgetting his promises.
9. “Politicians are like the bones of a horse’s foreshoulder – not a straight one in it.”–Wendell Phillips
The term “honest politician” is an oxymoron. Like jumbo shrimp.
10. “Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.”–John Quinton
The people in power know that it’s not about fixing the country all the way. Their job security depends on them having more promises to make and more work to do, so they have no incentive to get to that light at the end of the tunnel.
11. “There is one sure way of telling when politicians aren’t telling the truth – their lips move.” Felicity Kendall
See number 9.
What are some of your favorite quips about politicians? Leave a comment!
i dont vote, i wont stop complaining either lol
very shortsighted opinion on not voting (among other commentaries.) truly think about it for more than those first few seconds when you normally form your tightly held opinions, author & first commenter.
actively search for a candidate you can rally behind, one with positive values that you think can actually make a move in a good direction. not all candidates are deserving of the cynical outlook that's all over this page. if you haven't found one that makes you want to vote, your indolence is the only thing to blame.
when you vote, you give permission to the government to rule your life and become a sheeple from the system in a submissive "democratic" way. simple like that. those who don't vote has the whole right to complain because they didn't give permission nor agree with the government to be ruled, modified, manipulated, etc. their life. you vote you support government and has to eat what they do to you no matter all you complain. you don't vote, you don't support government and has all rights to complain for something you didn't agree with it.
By not voting you are still making a decision. That decision is to let other people choose who can affect our lives through legislation and government institutions. Inaction is still a choice.