Homer Simpson once said “The answer to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV!” And you know what? He just might be right.
Here are 10 other Homer Simpson quotes you can live your life by.
1. “You don’t like your job, you don’t strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way.”
Homer Simpson realized something many of us learned a long time ago. Working is all about doing just enough to not get fired. Let’s face it. With the average person spending an hour each day looking at Facebook and more time watching YouTube videos, most of us are half-assing our jobs.
2. “Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.”
You can’t lose what you don’t put in the middle. Of course, you can’t win either. But who are we kidding? It’s a lot easier to go through life without trying.
3. “I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.”
Getting through life is 99% about staying out of trouble. With these 3 simple sentences, you can avoid trouble and live happily ever after.
4. “Here’s to alcohol, the cause of—and solution to—all life’s problems.”
Alcohol is responsible for ending marriages, but it’s also responsible for bringing many babies into this world. It’s responsible for a lot of fights, but it’s also responsible for a lot of hookups and love connections. You have to respect its power.
5. “No TV, no beer make Homer something something.”
Imagine a life without TV and beer. I know I’d go crazy.
6. “Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of people know that.”
How many times have you seen a debate (usually between politicians) where each person has statistics that contradict each other? I’m convinced that 90% of statistics are made up (C wut I did there?!)
7. “If something’s hard to do, then it’s not worth doing.”
There’s no shame in taking the easy way out. Trying hard is for suckers (and successful people).
8. “I’m not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I’m going to Hell?”
Homer does have a point here, and I’m not just talking about religion. Too many of us spend too much time focusing on everything that’s wrong and not enough on the things that are right. Try being more positive.
9. Homer: [looking at a picture of refugees in a newspaper] Look at these refugees, Marge. Not even a smile.
Marge: They’ve undergone terrible hardships.
Homer: Well, moping won’t help anything!
Harsh, but true. Being sad and angry won’t fix anything. Sometimes, you have to stop feeling sorry for yourself and move on with your life.
10. “Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals…except the weasel.”
Weddings. Little kids birthday parties. Baby showers. You name it. There’s always some sort of event that people are trying to force you to go to. Learning how to weasel your way out of things is a critical skill.
What are some of your other favorite Homer Simpson quotes? Share them by leaving a comment below.
"Every time I learn something new, it pushes something old out of my head. Remember when I took that home wine making course and forgot hot to drive?"